The Myth of ‘Fixing Yourself’: Why You’re Not Broken and Don’t Need to Be ‘Fixed’

If you’ve ever dipped your toes into the wellness world, you’ve probably heard it before; the idea that you’re broken in some way, and healing means fixing yourself. Like you’re a cracked vase that needs to be glued back together perfectly, or a machine with a part that’s worn out and must be replaced. I’m here to tell you that’s a myth.

You are not broken. Not really. You are whole, exactly as you are — even with the scars, the messy bits, the parts you hide from yourself and the world.

This myth comes from a culture obsessed with perfection, productivity and self-improvement. It sells us the story that if we’re struggling, it means we’re failing or less than; that if we just work hard enough, follow the right steps or buy the right book, we can “fix” ourselves and become this flawless, happy version of “better.”

But life and healing aren’t tidy like that.

You don’t need fixing. What you need is understanding, compassion and permission to be human — all the messy, contradictory, beautiful parts of you.

When you stop trying to fix yourself, you start to notice something important: those so-called “broken” parts are actually signs of survival. They’re the pieces of you that adapted, protected or held on when things were tough.

Healing isn’t about erasing those parts or turning them into something shiny and new; it’s about befriending them, listening to what they need and learning how to live with them in peace.

So next time you catch yourself thinking you’re broken and need fixing, pause and ask; whose voice is that? Is it yours, or someone else’s? And what would happen if you gave yourself permission to be whole, exactly as you are, right now?

Because real healing starts not with fixing but with accepting. Not with changing but with loving.