Why ‘Progress’ Isn’t A Straight Line: Embracing The Messy Middle of Healing

When I first started my healing journey, I pictured progress like a staircase — each step smooth, steady, and leading upwards in a clear direction. I thought that with enough effort and the right mindset, I’d just keep climbing, leaving pain and struggle behind.

If only it were that simple.

Healing rarely follows a neat path. Instead, it’s more like wandering through a dense bushland with no clear trail — sometimes you push forward with confidence, sometimes you stumble into thick undergrowth and have to backtrack, and sometimes you find yourself standing still, uncertain which way to turn. The progress is anything but straight.

The ‘messy middle’ of healing is where the real work happens — that foggy space between initial breakthroughs and long-term change. It’s where doubt creeps in, old wounds reopen, and the comforting illusion of control slips away. It’s where frustration, confusion and setbacks often feel overwhelming.

And it’s exactly where most of us live, even if it doesn’t look like the highlight reel of Instagram or self-help books.

The truth is that healing is not a tidy narrative of constant growth. It’s a complex, swirling dance between moving forward, taking a step back, and sometimes simply standing still and catching your breath. And that dance requires a kind of patience and self-compassion that most of us weren’t taught to practise.

We live in a culture obsessed with ‘progress’ as linear success — checkboxes ticked, goals smashed, neat milestones met. When it comes to healing, this mindset can leave us feeling like failures whenever we falter or spiral.

But the messy middle is not failure. It’s a vital part of the process.

In fact, it’s often the messy middle that shapes us the most. It teaches us resilience, humility and the courage to be imperfect. It shows us how to hold space for our shadows as well as our light. It forces us to wrestle with our contradictions, fears and limitations — and in doing so, it fosters true transformation.

Sometimes, healing means circling around the same pain again and again. Sometimes it means sitting with discomfort that has no quick fix. Sometimes it means forgiving yourself for progress that feels invisible or too slow.

And that’s okay.

Because healing is not about arriving at a perfect destination. It’s about learning to live well in the in-between. It’s about finding grace in the struggle, and strength in vulnerability.

If you’re in that messy middle right now — feeling stuck, frustrated or uncertain — I want you to know this: you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing is not a sign you’ve failed; it’s proof you’re doing the deep, difficult work of growth.

Keep showing up for yourself, even on the days when it feels pointless. Keep being gentle with your imperfections and your setbacks. And remember, sometimes the bravest and most powerful thing you can do is simply keep moving — even if it’s just one tiny step.

Because in the end, healing is less about how fast you get there and more about learning to dance with the journey itself — messy, unpredictable and beautifully human.